Ungrateful Writes

Both are masterful parodies of Sherwood Anderson, the only writer I know of that has been made fun of by two Nobel Prize winners. Any how Swatty, (Sherwood) didn't appreciate either. He helped both of these squirts get their first book published. Hem's was written to get him out of his contract with Anderson's publisher so he could take The Sun Also Rises to Scribner's.

I think I'm beginning to hate writers (or at least wannabees). Everyone is an expert. The GLAWS Group I participate in have a lot of experts and a lot of self-justifying authors. "My character would never do that" "I can't change the scene, that's not what I was trying to do." "I've published here and there. They took it, who do you think you are?"

"I have two agents interested" Yes, but the first 100 pages of your book is scene after scene of people sitting and eating, five times.

"I'm writing a history of so and so," Yes, but it's a novel. Try some drama, try some character development.

It's bad enough that they all have dreams of grandeur and they use programs that count their active verbs. Or they read thousands of self-help writing books and no novels.

One of the guys believes he grew up around the corner from Edgar Allen Poe and used to see him around.

I'm also ticked with people who won't bother. We just got an email from a girl that came maybe twice and now we wants us to destroy any copies of her stuff that we may have. She, of course, didn't read anybody's work.

The latest reaction to my feedback, is, well that's the way you write. That's the way you would write it.

It's really not. I have no interest in writing anybody's books for them, or any interest in stealing anyone's ideas- as if there were really were any original ideas in the world.

I'm interested in you writing something that has passion and drama in it. (Like every book in the world but yours.)

I think I like musicians better. And the people in my yoga class. No one's trying to one up you there.