I'm Board

 I need to find some more small publisher groups to annoy. If you know of any, send 'em my way. I found a group of writers that co-op a web page on their books and when I queried them, I was told there were only two of them in Los Angeles and $100.00 was too steep for them. Do they think people go out of their way to find a web site for unknown self-published writers? I asked the woman with the mirrored emails if she was going to pass on my proposal to her members. She didn't answer. I went last night and put fliers on the windshields of all 10 cars of the people attending the PA-LA small publishers group. (They were the ones that told me I couldn't pass out fliers at their meeting because I wouldn't provide them my income tax statement) Not a peep from them today. They must be too old and feeble to type after their exhausting monthly meeting. There were a few going into the meeting looking older than me. iUniverse keeps sending me come-ons for more self-publishing- like I'd love to go through this process again. Thinking maybe direct mail is the way to go, rather than spending my meager budget on book fairs. Here's a list of what doesn't work , if you are thinking about self-publishing:

1. Reviewers will not NOT NOT NOT review your book, no matter how brilliant, silly or demeaning you might be.

2.Bookstores will accept free promotional copies of your book, but will not take any they have to pay for, even if they sell the ones you gave them for free.

3. Advertisers will take all the money you have to give them and will ask for more.

4.Self-publishing houses will take all the money you give them and will ask for more.

5. Groups designed to help self-published authors will take all your money and ask for more.

6. There are so many web based things available to post to about your book, that NO ONE actually pays attention to them.

7. You can actually pay your self-publishing house to take back returns and pulp them for you.

8. Barnes & Noble could care less about your book, they just want to get people in their bookstores.

9. Agents could care less about you if you are over 25

10. There are a lot of nut cases out there that have self-published too.