Things I Have Stolen

I'm being encouraged by perverse friends to start an alternate bad boy site, in which I tell the really bad things I've done. I'll let you know if I do, but I thought I'd start with this kind of thing. A friend and I in high school were developing our thieving skills. Primarily because we were poor and we wanted things, but there developed a one-up-man-ship thing and we would put each other up for doing stupid things. We used to sit and drink vodka and sodas in the student union at a school (far away in a land that time forgot) at 16. There was this ship's wheel on the wall. It was from the battleship that was named after the state (far away in a land that time forgot) with a little plaque that said what it was. I was told I would never get away with it.

I borrowed a custodian's smock and strolled in with a screwdriver and took it off the wall and walked out. The hard part was returning it. I didn't want to dispose of it. The Student Union had a hotel on the other end, with a lobby and a front desk, so I sat in my car out front forever with the thing in a gunny sack, sweating like a pig, for the front desk clerk who was there by himself, to go to the bathroom and then I ran in and left it on the counter and ran like hell and sped away. I don't know if he saw me or not.

Definite felon, just my luck- it was a small town back then with small ways. I think that nobody even noticed it was gone, until it was returned. A week later it was back up in its spot. They probably thought it was a frat stunt.