The Dog

Well, the dog is still here in my mind. His last presence was one of an outside dog only. Mostly because he was peeing big time all over the house and I couldn't train it out of him. In fact, the dog was acting out because I was trying to train him. We even tried putting a diaper on him when he did allow him in the house. I got one of these Velcro waist support bands from the drugstore and wrapped him up in it so he could stay in the house at night and sleep on the carpet, which was really smelling like him. We ended up with two of these things so we could keep one clean for him to wear. I would tell my kids' friends when they were over that I was only doing it to humiliate him. In the last few months, he was outside only. I had put up a tent for him to sleep in. Every morning and every every I would take him with our other dog through the house to do our twice daily routine of getting the paper or putting out the garbage while the two dogs sniffed and smelled the perimeter of the front yard and left their marks on it and chased cats away and ever so often would encounter the neighbor dogs on a stroll.
Otherwise, when we were home he would lay just outside our bedroom screen door or the kitchen screen door or outside my studio door.
It started out sort of all right. We decided our one dog was lonely. The lady across the street had picked up a stray and we arranged a play day and then a sleep over to see if the two dogs got along. After adopting him formally and having him spayed we brought him in with all the privileges. We soon found that he marked in various places around the house. The kitchen wasn't too bad, easy to wipe up there. The kids learned not to leave their things on the floor- that was good. Of course the Christmas Tree was hard to resist. Also my CDs on racks in my studio would turn up from time to time with yellow spots. I discovered by encouraging to spray out front and by giving him a lot of attention, he seemed to reduce the amount he was doing inside.
He hated loud noises and when he left him with the other dog outside to go to a Fourth of July fireworks, he broke into the back door and broke into my son's bedroom and caused about a $1,000.00 worth of damage- which made me mad, but it was ok, I'm handy and I repaired it sort of without spending billions.
As the kids went off to college and got busy, there was less and less attention given to the dog and so he began acting out. When in desperation, we made him stay out, he got no attention except when my one daughter would brush him about once a month and I would still take him out front and pet before I gave him his supper. No one else had time for him or wanted to deal with him. So he decided he didn't like it here anymore and began trying to break out. When he broke through the gate I had just repaired the week before, and I was faced with with yet another repair and the fear he might start attacking the back doors of the house, I decided it was time to take him to the pound. This was not a decision made lightly, it took me seven years. I knew I had to do while I was still angry, because regret would seep in. And it has.

My mother took our german shepard puppy (who had dragged her into a snowbank for 5th time) to the pound while we were away at school one day and brought back a poodle. I swore I would never do this.
I didn't bring back a poodle at least.

Anyway, he's still sitting just outside my studio door, listening to me play banjo. He looked back at me at the pound for a moment before the attendent took his lease and then pulled her after him to get where he was going. I gave him a good recommendation on the paperwork. Everyone deserves a clean start.

I've told my kids that I wouldn't into heaven now, and probably won't.