I'm not ready to give up on this

This is actually a photo of some dude on Pier 39 in SF. There are states of being like this. Somewhere. Venice has always been been Venice. Hard and mean at times. I'm looking at the Santa Monica Pier. There's a permit you can get for Redondo Pier and I've never ever seen anyone down there playing. I ain't ready to give up. There was a picture in the little Santa Monica throwaway paper on Monday of a couple of twenty somethings playing on the Santa Monica pier. You never ever see anyone doing that there. You got to find your space. I'll keep you posted.

Playing Venice Beach

                           http://crillix.deviantart.com/art/Twilight-Circus-The-Juggler-16804790

Please check out this guy's artwork. Some of it is very cool. Sos, I wanted to try out playing the Venice Beach Boardwalk. I lived over there for 17 years, its like home. Though I've not been over there very much at all in the last two or three years. I went to breakfast over there with some friends to check it out. There are no permits - you just have to claim a spot at six in the morning to guarantee that you have one. A lot of people leave out markers from the day before, which you are not supposed to move. I walked down from the restaurant and talked to a couple of the vendors marking their spots. and found an yellow marked space (for performers) that wasn't occupied or marked. There didn't seem to be anyone around that looked like they were in possession of it, So I decided that was the spot I'd try for the next Sunday. Next Sunday I'm up and out of the house at 5:00 am with my gear. I'm at the beach parking lot at 5:30. There is a line of four to five cars to get into the parking lot when it opens at 6:00 am. I get out and talk to the folks in front of me. I realize I have a half hour before I'm even going to get to park. I decide I'm going to run down and claim my spot with a folding chair and a bag with water bottles in it, which I did. I come back and hop in the car and wait in line to park. The two folks that I talked to are out there almost every morning of the week at 5:30 am.
So I park, & walk down to stand around my spot. I brought a book to read and my sketch pad, but I'm not in mood to sketch anything. Its kind of misty and foggy. I read for awhile. You can't move into your spot until 9:00 am. The spot was half hidden by sand that had washed down from the hill behind it, so I found an old board to use as a shovel and shoveled off a larger space to sit in. About 7:30 am. these three homeless looking guys come by and tell me they usually hang out with the people that have that spot. I tell them that there's no one else around and I've claimed the spot and I'm using. it. They go away. My friends appear and have breakfast at the same place and then they bring me breakfast to go as they are about to go home. I ask them to hang out for about 15 minutes while I go get the rest of my gear from the car. It's about 9:00 am now. I go get my gear and find two Rasta hippie vans parked on either side of my car and the guy from one of them tells me to move my car. I explain to him that he parked around me and that's his problem. I told him I was happy that he was the center of the universe. I get my stuff and go back, eat breakfast real quick and start to set up. My friends leave. I'm setting up and this toothless guy stops and tells me its his and his friends' spot and I need to leave. I tell him its mine. I have been there since 6:00 am. He says he's coming back. That there will be a group of people later that will take the spot. He comes back just as I'm about to start to play, about 9:30 and glares at me. I tell him, I don't think too much of his evil eye and if he wants to challenge me, he's going to get hurt. He backs off. Did I mention I'm 6'8"? So I play. Some other homeless looking guy shows up and looks at me and tells me he's going to listen to me today. The asshole guy sits behind me on the hill. One of the other vendors that I've befriended comes over and tells me to call the police. That most of the homeless guys have warrants out on them and they don't want to be approached by the cops. I play. A cop car rolls by and I stop them and tell them that the asshole is harassing me and they get out and exchange a few words with him. That shuts him down for a while. I play a couple of hours. Then the juggler shows up. He's friends with homeless asshole. The three that I ran off earlier in morning return and the asshole berates them for letting me have the spot. They go away again. The juggler comes down to set up in the empty space next to me. There are two empty spaces next to me- they were empty through out the morning.
I tell him, I'm happy he's not another musician. He then explains to me that the space I've occupied is for those performers who can attract 20-30 people and I don't belong in the spot. I said oh really. And he proceeds to tell me that as soon as the two break dancers he performs with show up, he will turn his boom box on and start juggling and they will dance. I ask how long before they show up. A couple of hours he says. I ask if there might be a compromise to work out and he says no.
So I continue to play. My buddy shows up on his roller blades and he plays with me for about an half hour. I've edging into three hours now. Still no sign of the jugglers' break dancers. I had intended to leave by 1:00 or 2:00 anyway. My left hand is cramping up and my buddy has to go in a little bit, so we finish and I pack up and my buddy watches the stuff as I take the equipment back to the car. The homeless asshole moves down to occupy the space. I'm thinking to myself- all they had to do was ask how long I was playing - but they didn't.
I return to my car and the Rasta hippie vans asshole is overjoyed that I'm leaving. Asks me to come play with him and his group. I leave.
So I'm pissed. I don't like bullies. I fantasize about what I can do to them. I know where they live- they don't know anything about me.
Then I check out the juggler. He's been there in that spot for four years, with his little band of homeless mafia to scare everyone off. He gets up at 10:00 and strolls over, believing his space is protected. He probably gives out a few bucks to these toothless assholes.
And that's why no one told me or warned me, because no one over there likes him or his little band of merry men. They also see me, this huge guy and I'm offering to protect the girl I befriended if she needs it.
They were probably hoping for something like this to come down.
I sold a couple of CDs, made a few tips, but it's probably not worth it to spend a eight or twelve hour day there for what I can do at a lousy Farmer's Market.
And I didn't get my car spray painted by the Rasta hippie van people. I got off lucky I guess.

New Graphics

Stage Fright 101- additional

Rehearse and rehearse and rehearse. If you are not practicing your play list at home on your own then you are in trouble.

Stage Fright 101

Question on my last post:

How do you do it? I was asked to sing lead on a few songs with a group, and totally tightened up. I can sing harmony ok, but am terrified of singing lead vocal. How do you get yourself mentally ready to sing as a solo act? 

I had performance anxiety so bad when I started I couldn't play in front of my family and close friends. I used to go into a room at work where me and two other guys would play at lunch time and warm up for a half hour before they came because of my stuff going on. Your fingers don't work, you freeze, you forget what you know.

The advantage I had was that I knew I could eventually some day kill it. I used to have bad stage fright when I spoke in front of large groups of people. Years ago there was a literary arts group in LA called "The Chamber Pot." You would sign up a year in advance to do a 90 minute talk about something- an author, a book, an artist, a musician. I really wanted to do this -mostly out of intellectual pride of holding my own with a bunch of professors, but it was also a way of focusing a subject of study into something at the end and you had a year to do it. I recall the first one. I worked up for it by rehearsing the talking every night for two weeks and the night of, I alternated a glass of wine with a cup of coffee every fifteen minutes.

I did these for ten? years. By the time I went to work on the USC main campus, I could stand up and ad lib and crack jokes in front of a hundred people without a sweat.

But I had to start over with the music. 

I would freeze up at jams, freeze up anytime I did a new song in front of anyone that I thought was better than I was, freeze up when I had to play acoustic without amps.

I started going to a local open mic coffeehouse in Venice and would smuggle in rum to drink to boost my bravery and still screw up. I just kept going. The last time was up at the Topanga Banjo and Fiddle Contest in May when they gave several of us a chance to go back on and do an extra non-judged song. It will never completely ever go away, but its gotten pretty minimal of late, because I'm out there soloing so much now.

You just have to forgive yourself and go on.    

I saw Paul from Peter, Paul & Mary at McCabe's a couple of years ago when his last solo CD was released and he told the crowd that he like to start with a screw up song because he was always nervous when started.  After how many years is this guy still nervous? 

So I start with a screw up song now. something easy and throw away. Right now its "All I Want Is You" a song from that Juno movie.

It'll happen again, no doubt. 

The whole process is ridden with self-doubt. You play and someone gets up to leave and you think - oh they hate me. There are times when there is no audience or no audience reaction and you leave feeling bad. Now and then something really cool gives you positive reinforcement to last a good couple of years. 

There will also always be the frigging idiots who will tell you are not good enough because they think they are not good enough.

I get asked back, I get applauded, I get people buying my CDs. I get new gigs based on my videos that don't always have the greatest sound.  

You need that kind of stuff to fight off the demons.  

Friday Night

The Dragonfly -More Craig's List Fantasy Land

So I get a call from the guy who says he has a spot for me on such and such a date at The Dragonfly. I say ok, (I answer a lot of ads), when and where is the club and how long is the set? An half hour, well ok, what time? He says you go on in the order of how many people you bring in.

 I told him I had enough on my plate, thank you very much.

This was posted today, same date- I wanted to reply with a snide comment, but I resisted the urge.

Contests are cool. If you think you will win, give him a call.

Show Opportunity at Dragonfly! (L.A.)

I have an opening for July 28th at the Dragonfly in L.A. The show is a contest with prizes including $500 cash, 48 tshirts, an out of town gig with a $200 guarantee, 2 months of artist management and 20 hours of studio time! there is no buy in for this event! hit me up with your band/artist name, link to music and the best number to reach you. thanks!

• Location: L.A.
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 3900885395

Posted: 2013-06-28, 9:06AM PDT

Updated: 2013-07-01, 6:13AM PDT

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